Friday, November 17, 2006
intermezzo...
I hate to leave you hanging like this, my dear readers (all four of you, besides my mother), but I must away. We are leaving for Texas this coming Monday, and I don't think I'll have any more time this weekend to post the conclusion to the Taking Flight series. Sorry about that. I'll get back around to it. But no need to worry! I have a smashing finish lined up for you complete with several musical numbers, a couple of interpretive dances, and maybe even a laser show (if I can figure out how to do that here).
At any rate, we'll be gone. Gone to Texas. Visiting family, doing Thanksgiving in two different places, and having a 50th Wedding Anniversary for my parents. We'll also be having Tex Mex06! We'll see how many paparazzi actually show up.
So, be of good cheer my gentle readers. Enjoy Thanksgiving (unless you're Canadian, or British, or from some other nation, in which case, just enjoy whatever you want to enjoy), troll through the archives if you want, or just post comments about how much you'll miss me while I'm gone.
Love to all!
Thursday, November 16, 2006
taking flight...III
Then he stopped. Without turning around, he said "why did you take him?"
Out of the blackness of the clouds above him, stark against the vast plain of white, came the form of a woman who's hair blew around her and seemed to be a part of the clouds themselves.
Her voice, soft and gentle, said "I don't know the answer to your question. But I can show you where he is."
"How can he be anywhere?" He stammered out. "I was there the day we found him, face down in the hallway in front of his little attic bedroom, peaceful and as white as alabaster. It was I who closed his eyes and placed his body on the bed. He was light as a feather that day."
It was true, little Diamond had passed away. He had been such a special child to so many, however, that the funeral was quite large. He had touched so many lives with his smile, his innocence, and his dreamy talk of walking with the north wind.
"I was there that day too." said the woman.
"Am I dreaming?" the man said.
"I don't know." She replied.
"I fell...no...I jumped."
"Yes."
"Then...where am I?"
"Turn around, and I'll show you. But I can only show you a cloudy image of where you are, for it is not time for you to pass completely through me yet." she said as she floated around him, her hair floating about her like a cloud.Labels: diamond
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
taking flight...II
He flew forever, just above the sea spray. Between the blackness of the water, and the blackness of the clouds above, he was transported, he knew not how, to a field of ice. All at once, the sound of the wind stopped, and their was stillness, peace.
His body felt cold, he shuddered. He felt so alone, but something inside pointed him ever northward. Perhaps it was a gentle brush of the wind again on his face, or something inside, but he turned all the same, and started walking across a flat white plain. Overhead, coming from the direction he was headed, he saw the northern lights, and wondered at them. This time, he thought, he might find where they come from, like he'd dreamed of as a child.
He hadn't dreamed of much of anything as an adult. His life was full of pain and loss and joy and happiness. His life in London as a cabby was modest, and though his family happy and large, he'd always felt cheated after losing his oldest son. His happy and strange son, the one they had all called "God's Baby" as they twirled their fingers around their temples. He missed his little Diamond, and wondered where he'd gone, and why he was taken.
He came to a wall of ice. He looked up and couldn't see the top. It seemed as if it was endless. From over the top, came the lights, streaming southward behind him. Before him the ice was smooth and almost featureless. Then he reached out his hand, and touched it, feeling it's deep cold. The deep and never ending cold of death.
"Come closer." said a soft voice in his head.
"I cannot." he replied internally.
"You can." it repeated.
"I don't know how." he said as he felt frozen to the spot.
"Diamond is here. He's waiting for you." the voice said.
Anger welled up in his body. Was this the thing that had taken his little Diamond from him? Without a word, he turned around, and started walking southward again.Labels: diamond
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
taking flight...
The ground under his feet was so saturated that it was soaking through his canvas shoes as he walked through the darkness. He didn't know how long he'd been walking, he just started walking without purpose, as soon as the bagpipes had stopped an hour before at the pub. North. Ever northward.
The rain, almost solid in it's consistency, pelted his face as he strained take step after step against the wind. Then, the ground stopped. He had come to it, the end of the world. The edge. Far to the southwest, the winter sun finally found a break in the clouds as it set, casting an eerie red glow on the undersides of the black clouds, and causing the chasm at his feet to seem bottomless. He knew the north sea was there, below him, he could just see the white tips of the windblown waves. Looking northward, from where the wind was coming, he saw nothing but blackness.
Soaked to the bone, and just as the last rays of the setting sun left him, he stretched out his arms, and flew. He flew forever.Labels: diamond
Monday, November 13, 2006
negative reinforcement...
I've used these methods with my children, and the occasionally work, and they occasionally backfire. More often than not, positive reinforcement methods work just as good, or even better, than negative reinforcement methods.
"Good Morning!"
"Do you know why I stopped you today sir?"
"Yes sir. I was going over the posted speed limit."
Our government seems to be lagging behind in the positive/negative reinforcement discussion of how to encourage people to maintain a safe speed through places like...oh, I don't know, Sunset Hill in Spokane, WA., just to take a completely random example.
"Why were you going over the posted speed limit this morning sir?"
"Oh, I dunno, I'm an idiot I suppose?"
"Where are you off to so fast?"
"Work. I've got to be their by 8am, and I'm running a little late."
We sometimes forget, or we think that maybe they've forgotten. If we could just get away with it this one more time, then we can get away with it again, and again, and again. Just like when my children sneak candy from our remaining hoards of Halloween candy (that we slowly hide over the course of a few weeks.). Negative reinforcement seems to encourage lying, cheating, trying to cover oneself up. Negative reinforcement seems to encourage dishonesty. A good smack on a child's ass sometimes only serves to make them want to avoid the punishment, not the activity for which they were punished.
"Where do you work, sir?
"Cheney."
"Do you have your registration?"
"Uh..no. Just the tags on the plate..do I need the paper too?"
"Yes sir. How is your driving record?"
I was a master of "getting away" with stuff as a child. After my siblings moved out by the time I was ten, I didn't have anyone left to rat on me. I got away with alot of stuff they never were able to get away with, because they were all together in the house. I was alone. My parents, by this time, were older and either too tired, or just not paying as much attention. I've grown since then. I'm trying to be more honest with myself, and with others. It makes me happier, and makes some others uneasy.
"Excellent, actually. I haven't had a ticket in years."
"Ok, sir, I'll be right with you."
In my youth, I would have lied about it, not told anyone, at least those who could have gotten upset or angry about it. That, however, always led to worse feelings, and worse punishments. Like the time, in my dumb youth, when there was a warrant out for my arrest because of unpaid speeding tickets, and the police had to follow me to my parents house. It was midnight, and they'd walked, scowling, into the living room with me, and I had to wake up my father so that they could decide what to do with me.
Well sir, if he doesn't pay the fine, we'll have to take him and hold him overnight in the county jail in Decatur. I remember them saying.
Maybe that would do him some good? was the reply from my dad.
I just looked at the floor, and waited to see what my punishment was going to be.
"Ok sir, I reduced the speed on the ticket from 70mph to 65mph. This will reduce your fine somewhat. I've also overlooked the fact that you don't have your registration in your vehicle but would like to encourage you to find it and put it in your glove box."
"Ok. Thank you very much."
"Have a good day sir, and please be careful re-entering the traffic."
My dad slowly, almost magically, produced a wad of cash, and gave it to me with a stern look that seemed to say Don't do this again. My sentence commuted, my jailtime reduced to zero, the police followed me to the convenience store where I converted the cash to a money order for the amount of the outstanding fines.
Sometimes you're given a second chance, sometimes you aren't....and sometimes, it's somewhere inbetween.
Thursday, November 09, 2006
when bloggers collide...
Many of you know that I have known Scott (Caveat Emptor) for the better part of three decades (and some of the worser parts of those decades as well). Some of you might also know that my wife and kids and I are going to be in Texas from Nov. 20th through Nov. 31st. What some of you might not know is that Scott and his wife and family, and my wife, and my family, and several others, are going to meet for dinner at a popular Mexican food restaurant in Fort Worth, TX on Nov. 26th. I'm looking forward to it, I really am.
There is one thing that I fear, however. You see, Scott and I have not met since we've become bigtime celebrity bloggers in the blogosphere. I know, I know. "How can that be?" you're asking yourself. My fear is that the restaurant will not be able to contain the swollen personalities of both Scott and myself. If Rick (Observations of Earth) shows up with his lovely wife, it might be more than the restaurant is prepared for. I mean, with Scott's recent Hoagie Turkey, it might just turn into a fan brawl. I just don't know if I'm ready to face all of the adoring fans, the paparazzi, the young girls throwing themselves at us, the strange people asking Scott to sign their Garden Gnome statues (bring a waterproof sharpie Scott), and people continually asking Rick about the rat that nibbled his toes when he was living in squalor (how about some pictures this time, ok Rick?).
What should we do to prepare the restaurant for this triple onslaught of blogger personality? How can we have a nice dinner in peace without the constant media attention and the adoring fans continually asking to refill our drinks? What should we do? Is there anyone out there with experience with this sort of thing (Brando, maybe? I know Bobness has the kind of advice we need. He's had plenty of experience. But will he be willing to share his cryptic knowledge?), or are we, alas, on our own? Is being a blogger celebrity really as lonely as being any other type of celebrity? I suppose Scott, Rick, and I, are about to find out. Good luck men. May we gain strength from our wives, and from each other.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
all the cool blogs are doing it, so why not the un-cool ones like [synaptic disunion]?
Yup. A political post. Right here on [synaptic disunion]. I swore off political posting after the 2004 election. But I suppose once in a "blue" moon is ok.
I actually sent in my ballot a few days before the 7th. I did. Really. I'm a pretty quiet voter, I don't go on and on about who I'm voting for, though I do still have a Kerry/Edwards sign in my office. Why? I don't know. History, I suppose.
I don't like to talk about who I voted for because, well, it would likely disappoint my family (Hi Mom!). In saying that, I've exposed how I normally vote, as well. Ah well, they still have to accept me, right? Well, we'll see in a few weeks when we fly to Bush country (Texas) for a two week visit.
They were afraid I'd be influenced to vote differently from them when we moved up here to Washington, to the "Left" coast. The problem is, really, that I've been voting differently than the majority of my family, in secret, since 1992. The last time I voted for a "Bush" was in 1988. It's not that I don't like Bush Jr., I'm sure he's a nice guy and all. I just disagree enough to vote against. That's all. Is that so bad? I vote my conscience. I vote how I feel. I love and support the troops, but hate the war in Iraq and think it was one of the biggest mistakes of the current administration.
I am an independent thinker, and I vote. Also, I like Barack Obama...he's the "bomba."
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
ok...it's time for me to give a shout out...
Have you heard of The Hoagies? I have. Have you heard of HeatherAnn? Who hasn't, right?
You see, she did this thing, I suppose you could call it a contest of sorts, where she set up all these interesting categories, and had people nominate people in said categories. Sadly, I wasn't nominated in any categories, but I'm ok with that, because, there are more deserving bloggers out there. Specifically the ones I'm going to vote for!
If you haven't voted, VOTE TODAY! Click on the picture to see the nominees, and email HeatherAnn with your vote today!
Somebody's gonna win a golden turkey. Oooooooh, I know.
something that has nothing to do with democracy...
I have a friend who does not like the band Yes. This isn't just your garden variety dislike either, it's hatred, pure and simple. I mean, when we were commuting to college together, he'd blow his top ten minutes into the twenty minute epic The Revealing Science of God off Tales from Topographic Oceans. I never understood it. He would start this low growl, look at me over the top of his Yoo-Hoo chocolate soda, and glare at me until I changed it to something else. I would concur with his wishes all the time, because, well, we had to ride together to school for 30 minutes each way, every day. I was just interested in keeping the peace.
Perhaps it's Jon Anderson he doesn't like. Maybe it's the way Anderson affects the persona of a robe wearing New Age pendants hanging hippie religionist? It's possible, but I have evidence that Anderson is not a New Age religionist. Witness these lyrics from three quarters of the way through the song Close to the Edge, off the album Close to the Edge:
I get up
I get down
I get up
I get down
I get up
I get down
To me, these are not the lyrics of a new age hippie layabout, but lyrics written by someone who has been to many MANY Evangelical church services, wherein getting up, and getting down, is required quite often throughout. This getting up and getting down business is the reasoning behind the nickname "popcorn church" that is often heard from snickering youth.
Perhaps my Yes hating friend doesn't like the way keyboardist Rick Wakeman (now occasional organist on TBN) twiddles the keys of a grand and loud pipe organ just after the getting up and getting down bit during Close to the Edge? Maybe it's the fact that he looked like a wizard on stage during the 70s, and looks like a pedophile now. To be sure, Wakeman was one of the more flamboyant of the band members during the 70s, but people can grow up, right?
Maybe he didn't like the way Steve Howe couldn't get things going fast enough on the song And You and I? All that twiddling about on the strings of his guitar for almost a full minute might have driven my friend mad with anticipation. Maybe my friend didn't like that odd crunchy and bouncy sound that Howe affected on most of Yes' music? Maybe he just didn't like his hair?
Maybe he just didn't like Chris Squire's three headed guitar? Maybe he didn't like how Squire moved to California and caused infighting in the Yes group because he thought he could own the name.
Maybe my friend just hated the fact that I had a friend named Allen White.
Or maybe, just maybe, my friend has a deep seated hate for Yoko Ono. Because of the story? You know the one? Involving the word "Yes" and how she met John Lennon? Yeah, that story. I maintain, however unfounded my belief is, that this story is where Yes get's their name. Perhaps this is the reason for my friend's disdain.
I suppose, in the end, I'll never really know what it is about "Yes" that sets my friend to growling in his Yoo-Hoo. I've asked him, and he's vague about it, so I suppose it'll remain a mystery forever.
Monday, November 06, 2006
after the storm...
I'm back. Today, I'm back in the office working like mad. Busy, busy, busy. Last week, I was busy with other things. Health things. I comforted myself with my books, my writing, but mostly, my little family. Now that it seems everything is better, on the mend, I'm calm.
The wind has changed from the north today and is rushing from the southwest, bringing with it unseasonably warm temperatures, soaking rain, and slate colored skies. This has a calming effect on me, and prompts me to play Sigor Ros' album "()" in the office today. This helps my mood as well.
What gets you through? What helps you pass the days by, one after the other in their seemingly unending succession of same-ness? For me it is hearth and home, the slightest change in the weather, music, reading the thoughts of others, and finally writing my own down.
The world is buzzing about tomorrow, especially today. But I'm not listening anymore. I'm tired of the droning of the advertisements, the trumped up promises which end up as dried up lies. I'm going to turn my back on it this year, this season. I care less and less each year.
What about you?
Saturday, November 04, 2006
doctors orders...
Take this, go there, do that. Turn on your side sir, how does that feel? This is an oxygen tube. That's your heart rate on that monitor. Just relax, this won't take long.
This tastes gross, get ready, here it comes!
/gag
/gurgle gurgle
How are you feeling sir?
"mumble mumble ugh"
That's good. All better then. Everything was clear, you're fine. Are you ready to try and walk for me?
/stumble, trip, swoon
Ah.. you're doing fine. Why are there three of me? That's just the meds wearing off sir. Don't worry about that.
Thanks for playing our little game today!
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
dealing with the north wind...
"Nobody is cold with the north wind."
"I thought everybody was," said Diamond.
"That is a great mistake. Most people make it, however. They are cold because they are not with the north wind, but without it."
No fever, no sore throat, but it came all the same. It spread throughout his little body all day Sunday. The clinic diagnosed Hives. Monday the condition worsened, that night the condition became "unknown." Blood tests, throat swabs. He was brave, no cries of terror at the needle, no complaining at the gagging swabs. Silent strength, but also silent with fear. Prednesone as our weapon, we went home and administered.
"Why am I always the one to get sick dad?"
"I don't know son, it just happens that way sometimes."
"You're not afraid?" said the North Wind.
"No, ma'am; but mother never would let me go without shoes..."
"I know your mother very well," said the lady. "She is a good woman. I have visited her often. I was with her when you were born. I saw her laugh and cry both at once. I love your mother, Diamond."
Worsening throughout the day on Tuesday, we saw our regular pediatrician. The tests all returned negative, but one. Strep. No sore throat, but still strep. No fever, but still strep. Our fear turned to mild relief as we were given another drug in our arsenal, antibiotics.
In the afternoon, it receded. The giant red patches on his body simply vanished. The swelling in his feet went away and he could walk again. He felt good enough to go out for Trick or Treating, so we did.
"But what's beautiful can't be bad. You're not bad, North Wind?"
"No; I'm not bad. But sometimes beautiful things grow bad by doing bad, and it takes some time for their badness to spoil their beauty. So little boys may be mistaken if they go after things because they are beautiful."
"Well, I will go with you because you are beautiful and good, too."
"Ah, but there's another thing, Diamond:--What if I should look ugly without being bad--look ugly myself because I am making ugly things beautiful?--What then?"
But we're just on the road. The woods are still around us. The fear still hovering just below our relief as the redness made a reappearance this morning.
Whatever it is, isn't releasing him yet. Whatever it is, his little body is still fighting. Whatever it is, keeps pounding on our resolve and testing our courage. But it's neither evil nor good, it simply is, like so many mindless causes in this world. Our medical science has only scratched the surface of what's sure to be an iceberg of unknowns.
