Friday, December 14, 2007
out west...
We live out west. Not in west. Some people say we live over on the left. I'm quick to remind them that we live on the right side of a left hand state, but we live on the left side of the city. It's all so directionally challenging and ideologically ambiguous.
Out west they gots animals. Lots of animals. But not the kind pictured to the left...at least, not many. Well, not around these parts, at any rate. 'Round these parts we gots the Elk, and the Deer, and the Bears. What always confused me about people who hunt for sport is that they enjoy killing things that are beautiful.
"Hey there Billy Joe, lookie there at that there Elk 'a headin' this here aways...ain't that a purdy thang?"
"You said it Joe Bob. You know what? I think I'm gonna take this here rifle, and blow a hole in that there Elk so's I can cut its head off 'n hang it on the wall over my wood stove."
"Sounds like a plan Billy Joe."
Boom. Groan. Splat. Another one bites the bullet. Ah well. Mankind. Ever the collector of pretty things and trophies, right? Right. It explains the many wives of Donald Trump, at least. Still, I suppose people would frown on Trump if he were to treat his wives like the hunter treats an Elk. At least his wives have a fighting chance...for a time...until the lawsuit is filed.
Still, we live out west. Things out west are bigger, it seems. From Elk to Egos, we make 'em big out west. Not as big as a Texas ego, mind you (those are legendary, loud, and un-paralleled in the world), but we got some big egos, and big opinions, and big trucks, and big trees, and lots of big guns. So why do we all seem to have this need to crowd together in clumps around rivers? Once, as I was looking across the valley from the top of Doomsday Hill (If you live in Spokane, you'll know what this is), at about mile five on the Bloomsday route (again.. Spokane thing), toward the newly built Life Center Church and the surrounding River Run Housing Community below it, all so tightly nestled in the river bottom below, someone asked me "ain't that purdy?"
"No." I said. "The Church looks like a giant barn and the houses are too close together and all look the same, and I haven't seen a white tailed deer in this area in two years."
We make 'em big out west, you see. We love our open spaces, so long as the Californian's stay away. We love our deer and our elk, so long as they shift over a bit when we erect two hundred egg crate homes in a ten acre area.
This afternoon, it's snowing outside. It's snowing all over this big 'ole Inland Northwest. Maybe that'll slow down our biggness for a while. I'm gonna go outside and enjoy this coming northwestern snowy weekend. I'm gonna forget about Billy Joe and Joe Bob, and make my own West, my own open spaces. I'm gonna shoot animals with my gun of choice, my camera, which converts the animals to pixels, instead of hamburger.
What are you going to do this weekend?Labels: spokane
